Appalachian Trail Trash 2008, Part III

Wed, 2 July 2008: ALOHA!

The best thing about hiking the AT in New Jersey and New York is the daily deli stop. I love listening to New Yorkers talk; every once in a while they throw in “that’s all I’m sayin” and then keep on talking.

Loyal viewers, I know what you want. You want to be entertained; read a thrilling story or an amusing anecdote or two. WELL ITS NOT ALL FUN AND GAMES OUT HERE PEOPLE!

TICKS are the most frightening thing on the trail for hikers because they carry LYME disease. We have to constantly check our…wait, is that a mole back there or a tick? It was parasite paranoia which led to this embarrassing hiker trash moment: “Excuse me, sir? Would you come into the restroom with me and take a look at my…No? Okay, sorry to bother you.”

GYPSY MOTHS are a huge problem on the East Coast. Billions of catepillars are chewing up the forest. That sound you hear as you are walking is not a gentle rain falling, its catepillar turds! The picnic is over when you reach into your pocket for a snack and pull out one of these vile creatures.

You know you are having a bad day when you run out of toilet paper and you realize too late the leaves in your hand are poison ivy.

The most horrific thing of all? Getting up every morning and putting on the same wet, sweaty, smelly clothes you had on yesterday and the day before.

That’s all I’m sayin. Eh, Yo Hawk

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