Hail to the Sausage Makers!

As the self appointed president of the fabricated literary organization known as the Sausage Makers Society I have taken it upon myself to investigate all potential members with a simple Google search. Based on the current roster here are the results:

LOBO is an alien born on the utopian planet of Czarnia and first appeared on earth in 1983. He is an immortal being with genius intellect who possesses superhuman strength, speed and stamina. LOBO earns a living as an interstellar mercenary and bounty hunter.

The HONEY BADGER is native to Africa, Southwest Asia and the Indian subcontinent. Despite the name, it is more similar to weasels than badgers. Primarily a carnivorous species with few natural predators because of its thick skin and ferocious defensive abilities; they are also skilled diggers and live alone in self dug holes.

LUMPY is an amorphous being without clearly defined shape or form sometimes characterized by a chunky, clumpy, curdled, coagulated or congealed appearance. This ambiguous mass contains a viscoelastic agent which enables it to hold its shape but will dissolve when in contact with alcohol.

ROGUE BOTANIST ADMITS BERRY HOAX, Turlock, CA. Today ex president of the California Botanical Society breaks rank with fellow botanists and reveals to the world there is no such thing as a Boysenberry. “What everyone calls a Boysenberry is actually just a raspberry soaked in a mixture of Human Growth Hormone and sugar water. ”

Finally, the Word Butcher is an obscure keyboard hack and ink slinger unknown for his crude, clunky and nondescript prose. Many have never compared his style to an offal amount of ground up vocabulary devoid of flavor and stuffed into nonsensical sentence casings.

Welcome to the slaughter house my little lambs!

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