The Many Faces of Enigmatic R.A.G.

Department of Homeland Buzzkill

Dedicated to denying citizens their constitutional right to pursue happiness since November 8, 2016

DHB Director Felix DeLouse

Unglued States of Absurdity

Page 2, Classified report on notorious fugitive R.A.G.

Known Activities/Behaviors continued…

…civic provocateur, aboriginal anarchist, cyber shaman, subversive thinker, eschewed athiest

Known Aliases

ALAN GRAEME / Believed to be the first alias used or suspect’s actual name. First name may be Roger. Currently off the grid, early records have been deleted.

IRREL d’AVANT / Suspect is known to travel the sci-fi and comic book convention circuits in costume as a biomechanical technician from the planet Centralia. [see attached photo]

Suspect often travels on foot using a massive hiking trail network to cross the continent. Name typically changes with geography:

MR ROBOTO / West coast trails including the Pacific Crest Trail

A LO HAWK / East coast trails including the Appalachian Trail

LA PLATA / Mid continent trails including the Continental Divide Trail

TUMBLEWEED / Sketchy information indicates limited use in the high mountains of Colorado, thought to be the suspects’ home base.

CAPTAIN COINSTAR / Leader of a roving band of homeless scavengers who “procure” aluminum, copper and other valuable metals for cash to trade for their nectar of the gods Pabst Blue Ribbon.

SERADD THE IMPALER / Dungeons & Dragons game character since college in the 1980s; a dwarf who uses a head spike to eviscerate enemies with a rhino charge to the gut.

KING KIELBASA / An online asshat, troll and flamethrower with no filter or shame. Known for sending foes a photo of his plump polish sausage.

RADIO ACTIVE GRAM / A cyberpunk mastermind personae with possible temporal distortion capabilities. [Content redacted. Additional clearance required]

THE WORD BUTCHER / Most recent iteration [no image available]. A pedantic snob who only communicates with a tightknit group of Illiterati known as the Sausage Makers Society.

Known Associates: Suspect strongly assimilates with three quinquagenarians and one tricenarian:

EDDY MUDDY aka Lobo / First known contact (FKC) with suspect occurred during the bicentennial summer of 1976 when suspect’s family moved to the same street in Round Rock, TX.

THOMAS ASCETIC aka Rogue Botanist aka The Scribe / Has written a daily journal since FKC with suspect at La Universidad de Tejas in September 1979.

GEO ECOLES aka Honey Badger / The muscle of the group met the suspect at UT Austin in 1983 under the pretense of forming a Triathlon Club.

RYE BALD aka Lumpy / The youngest member and cousin to the suspect. Considered part of a flyover american sleeper cell. Has been associated with the suspect since the early 80s.

Current Fugitive Status: Most wanted enemy of the state, whereabouts unknown, cash reward offered for information leading to the suppression, apprehension and incarceration of this dangerous encephaloterrorist.

 

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