UNIFICATION THEORY

CDT PTSD — Continental Divide Trail Post Traumatic Stress Diary

Dermagraphology — History of the art that is fit to ink on skin

Dulcet Tomes — The Soft Underbelly

Enigmatic Corporatic — Reworked content from THE CORPORATION at large

Hip Histrionics — Riffs on Pop Culture

Insipid Manifestos — Ode to the Lobe

Maudlin Missives & Mellow Musings

Mental Laxatives — Brain Drano

My Narcissisms — Its all about ME, MY, MINE!

Rancid Recollections — The stories of my life

Snark File — Rated H.T.O.C. (High Tolerance for Offensive Content)

Trail Tales — The Long Strange Trip

Trivial Lists — …and a 1 and a 2 and a 3…

Uncatagorized, Declassified, Substandardized

Zealous Illucidations — Supernatural Ding Dong

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Tween Piety in the Nation’s Capital

I say unto you, I was baptized in a large vessel behind the sacred alter of a cavernous church in thy district of columbia. Whereas my Sunday school indoctrination was monumentally unsuccessful; yea verily, my tweenage social education was pursued vigorously at youth group activities.

Let it be known, one Saturday there wont a sleepover in the basement for boys and girls of a certain age of which I was one. O the virtuous sleep of innocent lambs was far from our thoughts for the devilish temptation of mischief overcame our willing sensibilities.

When the hour was late and the chaperone to bed, we set out to explore the secret corners of our lords majestic temple of faith. Lo and behold, a room was discovered did contain the long flowing robes of the heraldic choir. With haste we did don the attire of the righteous and marched boldly onto the strange, enticing streets of the city.

And it came to pass, after hours of random wandering, street corner serenades and mad rushes to avoid capture; the stars did fade and a new day dawned.

Despite our wickedness, God the merciful did grant our return be not witnessed. Our reputations unsoiled, we returned to our parents in time for the Sunday Worship Service. Tho the sermon exist not in my memory; yet the stain on my soul from that sinful night hath remained forever and ever. Amen.

What is my religion?

First, lets set aside the discussion of religion vs spirituality. In my youth, my father tried desperately to indoctrinate me into the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (a mormon offshoot).

My pubescent rebelliousness led me to flirt with the whole spectrum of ‘isms’ from theism to atheism to agnosticism. As I matured, I made forays into mono-, poly-, and pantheism with brief stops at the secular philosophies of Rationalism, Humanism, and Naturalism. For several years I have bounced my personal cosmography between Hedonism and Buddhism.

In my early 20’s I was introduced to the mind altering world of psychedelic drugs and the writings of Carlos Casteneda (which turned my soul searching on its head, so to speak). Today I consider myself a practicing “Inner Space Neuro Alchemist”. I also believe multi-dimensional beings are fighting for control of the human race via our cosmic energy.

My world view is currently influenced by the certainty that the apocalypse is imminent and the mayan calendar predicts the date of either mankind’s catastrophic spiritual awakening or a cataclysmic pole shift.

When I boil it all down, I come to this inevitable conclusion: Don’t worry, Be happy!